Holy Crap!
By Dustin Burton, Taylor Bullock, Lucas Koester
Directed by Kenny Howard
Starring David Lee, Michael Wanzie, and Joe Swanberg
Footlights Theatre, Orlando FL

Subtlety was never a virtue of the Footlights Theatre, and tonight it was squashed flat by the juggernaut of this “Everything you hate about religion” Holiday fest-a-rama. Jesus (Swanberg) and the Easter Bunny (Lee) are hanging out at a bar, making their own drinks while Mrs. Claus (Darby Ballard) makes cookies and other tchotkes for their evil multidimensional corporation. Jesus hasn’t seen Dad in a while, but He keeps up with his only Son via twitter. Mrs. Claus has bigger plans, she and Archangel Michael (Steven Arwood) plan to take over heaven by getting Jesus to renounce his claims on the throne. This involves convincing Santa (Wanzie) he’s really Odin and that the Easter Bunny is an obscure female goddess Estra. Then hilarity ensues.

“Holy Crap!” is the freshman script from Burton, Bulloch, and Koester and depends more on rapid fire gags than characters or situation development. Fortunately, the gags come as fast as the actors can shout their lines, and they are good enough to make you forget the back stories you learned in Sunday School or Classics 101. Wanzie is at his funniest running around in a Viking helmet and pelts, Orlando Weekly mainstay Billy Manes gets punched out in a video, and Eric Fagan gleefully mixes simpering Santa fanaticism with an evil Irish brogue as the leprechaun union organizer. David Lee climbed to the top of the funnyman heap with his “Hunter S Thompson in rehab” look, its complete gonzo under a pile of white fur. Another highlight – it’s great to see Darby Ballard back on stage in a skimpy red dress.

There were plenty of gags and funny situations, even if the theology, mythology and plot was completely contrived. What weakened this show was its intensity: everyone came out of the gate yelling, and there was no sense of comedic build. As soon an opportunity for a gag arose, someone shot it down, and in the spaces between the laughs we got more than a few diatribes. Whatever your take on the supernatural might be, you’ll have no doubt about the writers’ position. “Holy Crap!” not only put a bullet between the eyes of organized religion, it broke the body on a wheel, drown and dismembered the corpse and then fed the pieces to the ravens. Between the faux creep of Halloween and the even faux-er joyousness of Christmas, there’s room for a religious skewering, but the party politics ought to keep to election season.

For more information on the Footlights Theatre, please visit http://www.theparlimenthouse.com or http://www.Wanzie.com

The Games We Play
Voci Dance
Garden Theatre, Winter Garden Fl

In a flurry of children’s games, Voci Dance finds an organized set of motions that evoke golden youth yet never recall fussy bed times or persistent “Are we there yet?” while heading to Disneyland. In the opening performance “Tag (Prèlude)” (Choreographed by Adrienne Nichols) four dancers toss a ball of light back and forth until the silent and unlit Lisa Mie captures it along with the last dancer who threw it, freezing the scene. In “Think FAST!” (Choreographed by Genevieve Bernard and Lisa Mie) we see the back wall and loading door to the Garden Theater, with Ms. Mie skulking around, freezing with each jump of the lights like a film montage of a super heroine eluding a laser beam security system on her way to steal the Solarix. After a curiously early intermission, we come upon the oddest dance number of the program – “3 Good Reasons” (Choreographed by McClaine Timmerman and the dancers) An abused folding chair is held hostage in duct tape, with three dancers taking turns berating it and adding to its sticky misery. Clearly the chair is symbolic for the counter party in a failed romance. Dancers take turns explaining in detail what Mr. Chair has done wrong while the others console each other. The most provocative question of the round was “Who put you in charge?” I think the answer is obvious – you are only abused if you allow yourself to be.

While “3 Good Reasons” as stark and troubling, the following piece “Taken” (Choreographed by Genevieve Bernard) returns to the earliest dreams of childhood. As Crayola grade artwork projects on the background screen, the dancers reconstruct the feelings of a long summer with nothing to do but point at the stars and chase the butterflies. As the dance progresses, the symbols grow and age, and the girl’s colorful heart-covered frocks (by Kelledy Francis) transform into proper school uniforms of dull brown and gray. One girl refuses to grow up, but unlike the male-centric bullying of my childhood, these girls protect and help the rebel, and bring her into the fold. The evocative dancers brought a pleasantly large crowd in the sparkly ambience of the Garden Theater, providing a well received and intriguing evening of motion and structure.

For more information of Voci Dance, visit http://www.vocidance.org

For more information on The Garden Theatre, please visit http://www.myspace.com/gardentheatre or http://wgtheater.org

Dr. Zombie’s Theatre Of The Unexplained
Oct 31, 2009
The Garden Theatre, Winter Garden, FL

Perhaps you think you know how to pull a rabbit out of a hat, or saw a woman in half, or swallow a sword. But knowledge should never interfere with enjoying a good magic act, and Dr. Zombie’s Theatre of the Unexplained is about as good as they get. Presentation is always more important than the difficulty of the illusion. Dr. James Zombie certainly knows his stuff, and a good audience always helps, just like the tipsy women with British accents seated behind me.

Dr. Zombie splits his Wunderkabinett into four acts – Mysteries of the Body, The Mind, The Physical World, and The Spiritual Realm. The Body Mysteries aims for the lowest chakra – the illusions are classic geek show stunts performed by the rotund and doe eyed Joe (The Mute) Vee. Creepy stuff is always creepier if the presenter keeps his mouth shut, and Joe begins with an off hand sword swallow, a needle through the arm, and a nap on a bed of nails, all with no dialog. All were impressive and relatively blood free, and were followed by Nurse Christy McKay and her “Walk Thought A Stick” routine. She gave us a nicely disturbing double reverse wrist twist, and then she allowed herself to bend around steel plates in an impressive Blade Box. Professor Slim King covered the Mysteries of the Mind with some blind readings and game of Psychic Clue. His nicest touch – a real crystal ball.

Intermission brought us Dr .Zombie dressed in a James Whale white smock, black rubber gloves, and welding goggle with radiation hazard stickers on them. Two of the best illusions fell into this segment – a novel “Sawing a Woman In Half” used a volunteer and no box, and “Acoustic Levitation” lead to another volunteer unexpectedly leaving the stage, announcing “I have to pee!” We never saw her again…

A Ouija Board driven séance wrapped up the evening, we contacted and produced a woman who died from a falling lamp in the 20s. Garden Theatre manger Alana came on stage in her Dorothy and The Twister costume and explained the paranormal investigation the theater sponsored recently (it must have been during “Forever Plaid”). While the woman behind me announced rather loudly “Liar Liar Pants on Fire!” Dr. Z charged right ahead and kept control of the stage. Skepticism deserves no notice tonight.

All the classic elements of magic were here – bombastic set ups, sly misdirection, mechanical devices and every other suspect device, short of an actual bunny. Maybe I know how these illusions work, maybe not. You’ll never know if I’m just bluffing, or just a vapor from beyond the grave…

For more information on The Garden Theatre, please visit http://www.myspace.com/gardentheatre or http://wgtheater.org

Jekyll and Hyde: The Musical
By Steven Cuden, Leslie Bricusse, and Frank Wildhorn
Directed by Paul Castaneda
Starring John Gracey, Stephen Pugh, Erin Brenna, and Scherezada Morales-Roman
Greater Orlando Actors Theatre, Winter Park, FL

The Victorians oozed confidence. Logic and science and steam punk could solve any problem from falling arches to man’s inhumanity to his fellow man. Dr. Jekyll (Gracey) carried that torch high – he had theories, funding, and access to good drugs, but lacked suitably pliable human guinea pigs. Those stick-in-the-muds at St. Jude’s Hospital for the Hopelessly Insane were hide bound to respect medical ethics and in fear of a malpractice suite, and just wouldn’t turn over a good case study for him to cure or torture. With his wedding to beautiful Emma (Morales-Roman) right around the corner, Jekyll drinks his own medicine to further science and avoid those last minute trips to pick towel colors and silverware patterns. He’s a good addict, “able to quit any time” but still slides deeper and deeper into the pit of addiction. His dark drug-released alter ego, the maniacal Mr. Hyde (Pugh) settles up with all his petty scores ranging from the St Jude’s Board to the slattern Lucy (Brenna). She loved him, but his jealousy and anger took her from fond bachelor party memory to bloody statistic.

This huge cast show stretched the GOAT Group’s technical ability, but they happily met the challenge. Director Castaneda and choreographer Laura Dewey skillfully slid these 29 actors on and off stage with only a few dancing girls falling into the audience’s laps. The stellar singing was accompanied by a recorded orchestral soundtrack, and with wireless mikes all the singing came across clearly, except for a few of Emma’s lines. It took a few songs for Dr Jekyll to grow on me, but his stage transitions to and from Mr. Hyde were so slick I didn’t even catch the first one. Pugh’s singing and stage demeanor recalls the sort of practice you might need for a theme park horror night, and Jekyll always seemed composed, even when ranting about the St Jude Board. Brenna’s passion for this elegant misanthrope felt stronger than Morales-Romans, but then Brenna was the professional fallen woman with less to lose. Ensemble numbers including “Murder, Murder” and “Façade” blasted out like a church choir, and individual songs and duets “In His Eyes”, “Dangerous Games” were beautifully executed as well.

GOAT did an amazing job on this classic melodrama, marshalling a top notch crew and putting all their skills to good use. The small stage made it all the more effective, it’s nearly impossible to be more than 50 feet from any actor, so you felt the full effect of their actions without any need to squint. This is some of the finest community theater you’ll ever run into.

For more information on Greater Orlando Actor’s Theatre, please visit http://http://www.goatgroup.com/