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Bad PR

You know there's no such thing.

Archive for the 'Bad PR' Category

Cruise Control

Tuesday, January 8th, 2008

Ready the lawyers for a broadside! “Royal Biographer” Andrew Morton looks at the life of His Shortness Tom Cruise in his latest opus, the poorly-researched (according to Tom’s lawyers) and poorly-titled (according to me, and soon you) book, Tom Cruise: An Unauthorised Biography. According to this no-doubt gripping exercise in biography from a distance, Cruise is the Church of Scientology’s “second in command”, second only to some guy with an unpronounceable name, who accompanied Cruise and Holmes on their honeymoon. Perhaps he is the only one Clear enough to operate Tom’s netherparts. Hooray for dirt!

In the War between Formats…

Tuesday, August 21st, 2007

…there can only be one winner. That is, unless it’s something that keeps Michael Bay from making a movie. Then everybody wins!

Coldplay Leads To Coldviolence

Monday, August 13th, 2007

Nobody saw this coming, but everyone empathizes, I’m sure.  Lindsey Lawrence, supremely inebriated and presumably up to here with all the drunker-than-Lindsey-Lohan references, took offense at some dude’s crooning of “Yellow” and used the opportunity to deck him. Usually, I obey the unwritten code of the media and do my best to leave karaoke gone wrong unreported, but Coldplay? Didn’t they get eaten by piranhas?

i can has dikshunary?

Friday, June 1st, 2007

The 2008 presidential race could actually be fun, if this real-life LOLcandidate image is any indication.

Jobs For Tommorrow

Sudan threatens to make world flat

Friday, June 1st, 2007

Sudanese AmbassadorIn response to the threat of economic sanctions from the US should it not do something about this Darfur campaign issue, Sudanese Ambassador to the U.S. John Ukec Lueth Ukec has claimed that his country will cease exports of gum arabica should these sanctions come to pass. Brandishing a plastic bottle of Coke above his head, the otherwise-dignitary explained that this emulsifier is responsible for all our soft drink fizziness, so we better consider things carefully here.

Where does Angus meat comes from?

Monday, May 28th, 2007

There’s no Jack In The Box in Florida, which is a shame, because I’d love to have seen their innuendo-full ads asking just what part of the cow their competitors’ Angus beef comes from. The folks at CKE Restaurants, parent company of Hardee’s and Carl Jr’s, are not amused, as they recognize and pronounce the G in Angus, thank you very much, and are hauling Jackie into court. “They’re not being funny,” CKE chief executive Andrew F. Puzder said Friday. “They need to stop misleading people about what Angus beef is.” You tell ’em, precariously-named executive.

Dr. Martens Campaign Gets Stinkier

Thursday, May 24th, 2007

I almost posted about the furor over the dead punk rockers wearing Dr. Martens boots campaign yesterday (hat tip to Charley), but it seemed to be lacking a punchline. My instincts were right, as today it’s been disclosed that the responsible agency has been fired. That’s right, Saatchi + Saatchi– you’re taking the fall! In further attempts to distance themselves from the pseudo-fracas, Dr. Martens has provided a quite disingenuous explanation, only adding to the general Bad PR hilarity.

Holy Zeus!

Wednesday, May 23rd, 2007

Ye Olde Gods must be angry and hurling bolts at the competition. Now — do you think Christians would perceive this as an ‘accident’ or a ‘sign’? C’mon, Christians, tell the truth now…

From the inventor of the Wall Of Sound…

Thursday, May 17th, 2007

it’s the Dome Of Hair. Seriously, what is Phil Spector thinking when he shows up for his trial looking like a guest star on Welcome Back Kotter?

Tangled up in “Who?”

Thursday, May 3rd, 2007

“Ah, dad… I know you just want to entertain my kid’s kindergarten class, but it’s not going over too well. “