Oooo! Careful children, for if you consume the fabled Absinthe, who knows what could happen!? You could pass out in a cruise ship corridor! You could call your new wife names! She in turn might kick you in the nuts! You would double over in pain! And finally, you could disappear! Beware this potent green drink, for it will make you do things you would never ever do if you were like, drunk on beer.
You know there's no such thing.
Archive for January, 2006
Microsoft is feeling a bit uncomfortable about the fact that it’s perceived as a gigantic corporation, a soulless, mechanical, eternally-devouring, will-sapping, blue-screen-of-deathing, pounding-on-the-keyboard, screaming-at-IT… well, I digress. In order to curb this Borg-like image, they’re looking to spend $120 million on a series of ads. The campaign, using television, print and the Internet, highlights Microsoft’s education and economic development projects in 32 countries. Effective!
The teenaged daughter of Sir Bob Geldof — Peaches Honeyblossom Michelle Charlotte Angel Vanessa Geldof — is tired of the constant taunting at the ski resort and the snickers from the help at the country club and is looking for a new name. Baby, just pick one of the ones you already have.
Pity poor Hamas, who has unfairly received a tarnished reputation after years of claiming responsibility for suicide bombings and other minor acts of terrorism. As they expect to become a major force after next week’s Palestinian general election, Hamas has hired a PR expert to help with an image makeover — to the tune of $100K. Part of this expert’s advice includes not celebrating suicide bombings, not talking about this destroying Israel business (despite its role as the organization’s founding charter), and having candidate Abu Tir “rid himself of a red beard, coloured by henna, because it makes people laugh.”
Uh, wait a minute. Perhaps that wasn’t in good taste. Neither was this stunt, in which some well-curved female snuck into a Detroit auto show to pose nekkid draped across Dodge’s upcoming Challenger. Which to me looks as if someone carved an old Challenger out of soap and then took it through a couple of showers.