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Lawsuits of the Damned

Not even Hell would take these cases.

Archive for March, 2006

Expect some purple.

Wednesday, March 22nd, 2006

“If Prince is renting your house for $70,000 a month, you should expect some purple” sounds pretty obvious to me. But expect your bedroom to be converted into a hair salon? Expect purple stripes painted onto the exterior of your $8.5 million mansion?

Run that by me again?

Tuesday, March 21st, 2006

The melodiously-named Alice Alyce is suing diminutive road hazard Billy Joel’s musical — Movin’ Out — for $100 million as punishment for her unfair dismissal. Apparently, her breasts were considered too large (huh?) and she was accused of faking a toe injury (huh?). No word from BJ, but the plaintiff adds: “[A]s an entertainer, and the father of a daughter, you’d think he’d understand,” says Alyce. “I do hope he calls me.”

Unfortunately Alyce, I don’t think Joel speaks Loony.

“CrAzY!!”

Wednesday, March 8th, 2006

A Palm Beach woman is a bit miffed over some helpful notes in her prescription record, presumably placed there by the pharmacists who wished to convey (presumably) hard-earned knowledge in dealing with her. Bring on the lawyers!

Painter of Fright

Tuesday, March 7th, 2006

Sure, God may have guided the brush of mass-market artist Thomas Kinkade for the last 20-odd years, but he sure hasn’t been keeping an eye on his heavy drinking or his gropy hands. You can read the extensive article to get to the details, but in summary: Kinkade is a bad man. Except for the heckling Siegfried and Roy part.