Pickett, of course, wrote and recorded “Monster Mash,” the ultimate Halloween anthem and, in my opinion, mankind’s second greatest achievement (the first being Van Halen’s “Hot For Teacher”). I mean, come on – with one singular Boris Karloff impression, Bobby Pickett gave birth to goth, black metal, and horror rap. These are truths that cannot be denied.

I saw Bobby “Boris” Pickett once, in concert. He was the surprise guest at the Gluecifer show I attended in October of 2005. Suddenly, between bands, this old codger sauntered out on stage in a lab coat. It wasn’t immediately clear what was happening; was this the Vincent Price resurrection as foretold by the prophets? Before I could shit a brick, the fossil spoke:

“Every year they drag me out to sing this song,” he said, or something like that. I still had no idea what was going on. After some more stage patter (including a hilarious dig at Elvis I wish I could remember), the “Mash” began and it all made sense. Bobby “Boris” Pickett, in the house at the Gluecfier show. I’m guessing there wasn’t much to talk about backstage – they don’t have Halloween in Norway, and they don’t have Gluecifer at the retirement home.

But I kid the recently deceased mother of all one hit wonders. You did humanity proud, Bobby. If not for you, Marilyn Manson would have no career. I bet that gets you the cloud of your choice with optional Anna Nicole angel. Enjoy it.

Love always,

JG2

“Objection! Your honor, the plaintiff’s name is an anagram for oral sex!”

How do you think the gay community views former Black Flag singer Henry Rollins? They seem to embrace him, although something seems to be preventing Hank from reaching full-blown icon status. Is he too non-traditional for most gays?

Henry has worked hard all his life to stay in gay shape, so for that alone I think he is respected. All the haters are just jealous bitches! Get over yourselves, girls.

Don’t you find it a tad uncomfortable performing in hot, stuffy clubs in a smoking jacket and ascot?

Fashion before comfort, honey! And I never let ‘em see me sweat. I just let ‘em see me “glisten.”

What’s your favorite Black Flag song and why? If you can’t pick one, I will allow you to pick one of their albums – but you still have to explain why! Similarly, what’s your favorite Black FAG song and why?

I would have to say “Jealous Again” is my favorite Flag song, because it was honored by G.L.A.A.D. as the Gayest Song Ever Written at their last awards banquet. My favorite Black Fag song is probably “T.V. Party” because we put so much work into it in the studio to make it as fabulous as possible. See what I mean by picking up a copy of our full-length CD at Interpunk.com!

I can’t help but notice what appears to be two different drummers in the photos on your Myspace profile. What’s up with that? Which one is Robo Simmons already?

Oh you little troublemaker! Fine, I’ll come clean. Black Fag has a rotating lineup due to the fact that cat fights break out more often than Robo’s case of herpes (Me-ow!). Robo Simmons isn’t really a person, he’s a state of mind.

Your recordings simulate Black Flag’s original sound extremely well. Are you using the same equipment they used or is it all post-production trickery?

It’s all fairy dust and mirrors, sweetheart. Thank you for noticing, though! It was more difficult trying to get those recordings JUST right than it was trying to follow Emeril’s recipe for cold lemon souffle!

Any plans to play New Jersey now that they’re allowing civil unions?

We’re very proud of Jersey for finally growing a pair and doing the right thing! But they’re going to need to step up their musical theatre scene and their fashion sense if they ever want to see us at the Stone Pony.

Thanks to Lib for setting aside the time to chat.