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Archive for July, 2007

The Two Coreys (A&E) Episode 1- Reunited

Monday, July 30th, 2007

Is this concept really a good idea to begin with? Hell yeah it is! Put two volatile former addicted child stars in a house, one a slob, one who is a little anal retentive, toss in one uppity wife, stir it up and this is just what you end up with.  It is so full of opportunities for conflict that it’s like shooting fish in a barrel.  Right from the get go, you know it’s coming.  Haim has a big chip on his shoulder and a devil may care attitude.  He’s disrespectful and you can see that he’s resentful about Feldman finding sobriety, a wife and happiness when he can’t.   Feldman has toned his lifestyle down about 100 notches, he’s worked hard to be a better person, to stabilize his life and get his career back in gear.  The Mrs, well, she’s the Mrs.  and we all know what that means.  You can see she’s a little worried that Haim is going to reel her big fish right back to those crazy years and she has good reason to worry.  Haim is obviously charismatic and seems to have a big place is Feldman’s life.

During the first epi -Haim tracks mud on the carpets, leaves ice cream on the bed, puts out cigarettes in glasses and smoked in their house. Feldman and the Mrs. have the PETA Campaign person, Nicole over for dinner to discuss some of their causes and how the Feldmans can help.  Haim is instantly flirting with her and slagging their cause and lifestyle.  He even orders a pizza which shows up while they are at the dinner table.  The look of disappointment and embarrassment on the Mrs.  face is unmistakable.  But you have to think that she knows this stuff is going to happen, she’s had him stay with them before with disastrous results.  After dinner, Haim gets Nicole out by the jacuzzi and invites himself over to dinner as is he’s doing her a favor.  Aww, too bad Haim, Nicole has a boyfriend.  The Mrs. is crying in the kitchen over that saying that Haim is cheapening the reason that Nicole is there and all the work they are trying to do.  But like all henpecked husbands, Feldman smoothes it all over once again ..until the next episode of course.

Scott Baio is 45 and Single (VH1) – Episode 2

Sunday, July 29th, 2007

In this weeks charming episode, Scott hits the comedy club to apologize to yet another ex of his, Julie McCullough, the girl from Growing Pains. She’s an ex Playmate, now she’s a stand up comic, using Scott and their failed past as the meat of her act. She shames him right out of the room and then they chat it up after she’s done.  The best line EVER was uttered…Julie says to him, “I had my first AIDS test because of you.  That’s how much you cheated on me.”  Loved it, the horror on his face was priceless.

He then goes to Palm Beach with his buddies and there are some eager bachelorettes there.  What happens next is the biggest shocker ever.   Baio goes in his room and doesn’t come out.  Can you believe it? No nookie for Scott. Johnny V tries his hardest to get a little action but the party winds up as soon as the bachelorettes realize that Scott isn’t coming out to play.  You really get a glimpse of what Johnny’s life in Scott’s shadow has been like. Poor bastard.

Damages (FX) Episode 1

Saturday, July 28th, 2007

From the network that brings me my Denis Leary fix, comes a legal drama that makes Boston Legal look like a lightweight comedy. (oh wait, for the most part it is)   Glenn Close starring as a bitch of a lawyer.  Glenn Close…in a TV show. Wow. I wasn’t sure how that one was going to play out but this is one serious show.  Tate Donovan as her faithful sidekick isn’t hurting either.

The newest associate, Ellen (played by Rose Byrne) in Hewes and Associates is first seen running through the streets covered in blood and wearing panties and a trenchcoat.  That’s how this show opens…. so, you can see this is no walk in the park and certainly no laugh track will be heard.  As the episode goes on, you aren’t sure which side of the fence Glenn’s character, Patty Hewes, is on.  You get the feeling that everyone around her has the unfortunate luck of becoming a casualty in the war.  Deeper in, you get a better glimpse of what Patty is fighting against, and shock, it’s Ted Danson. Sam Malone in the flesh but instead of hound dog Sam,he’s a rather creepy guy named Arthur.  Again, they have him riding that line throughout the episode, you aren’t sure if he’s the bad guy or not. I love that the characters aren’t set in stone, they grow, they move, they change.  It certainly keeps this show moving and the plots fluid.  They have 13 episodes planned right now, hopefully this one will keep up the pace and keep us watching.  After the demise of my beloved Studio 60, I was beginning to think that there was no more ‘smart TV’.

Rock of Love-Bret Michaels (VH1) Episode 2

Wednesday, July 25th, 2007

The most recent offering of Bret and crew doesn’t disappoint in the same rubbernecking way as most of the Celebreality shows on VH1. Who doesn’t want to see these crazy women fighting over some guy they don’t even really know and chances are won’t even like!? It’s just for the chance to say they bedded Bret Michaels, which 15 years ago might have been a big deal. Frankly, he’s not doing himself a favor with this show, most of these women are just trashy and rather skanky. There are a few that I think would actually be girlfriend material but it then makes me wonder why they would be on a show like this? Faith, one who went home last night, just seemed like your average nice girl. Well, if your average girl has a degree in Chemistry. No spandex, no whore hair, no implants, just a nice girl. When she was walking out she did say for the cameras that she was too good for Bret and yeah…I think so too.

They have separated themselves into two camps, the self proclaimed “A-Team” and “Varsity Squad” and those are the most trashy, most stripper-like, party girls. Making out with each other, drinking in the morning, clothes that a stripper would envy (and not an exotic dancer mind you, just a stripper) and the class of a trailer park resident. Heather is the ‘captain’ of the squad and frequently winds everyone up and works the stripper pole.(because every rock star house has one, right?) Lacey, with her fake dyed burgundy hair and her lip ring, is just the meanest in the house. Quite often you can hear her say how she’s going to get these bitches out one by one so she can have her man with a psychotic grin on her face. And the Barbie Twins, Brandi and Kristia, who have the combined IQ of 100 and those fake squeaky voices that men fall for and women cringe at. These women speak of Bret as the prize, as their man…. perhaps they deserve him.

The other group, are the more intelligent and less catty of the bunch. Jes, is young, she’s a cosmetologist and refuses to pander for Bret or the cameras. Magdelena, the 6’3″ Pole who was once in the Navy. Erin, the honors college grad with very big, very fake Jordan Price boobs. While Erin looks like she should be in the A-Team, she’s much too smart for that. Dallas, the princess of the bunch, is totally on a mission to ruin Lacey’s day. She taunts her about wearing animals and eating meat much to Lacey, the PETA members chagrin. Lacey seriously wants to take Dallas out, and it’s hysterical to watch. It’s plain to see that Dallas is LOVIN’ the reactions. She told Lacey, ‘If there was an animal in here, I’d slit it’s throat’ . Whether or not she means it…it’s brilliant TV to see the steam coming from Lacey’s ears while Dallas sits there calmly and sweetly smiles.

The nights little task was phone sex, yeah…that’s right. They hooked some machine up to Bret’s ….member… to measure blood flow. Is there really such a thing? Then each girl had to talk to him on the phone while he was in another room, some of them where just down right nasty and some were very reserved and could have been talking to their mothers. The 3 who instigated the most flow, got to go on a date with Bret. The date was to a recording studio to add vocals (or moaning as the case might be) to one of his tracks. Lacey, who is a musician, was over the moon about it and I’m sure that’s her only reason for being there. Rodeo, the formerly paralyzed personal trainer- who is more manly than Bret, thought she deserved a Grammy for her performance and Erin, who was very upfront in her lack of musical talent, just moaned and talked dirty.

These are some hardcore bitches, and it’s fun to watch. There is no real value of this show, but who cares!? I’m just waiting for the drunken bitch catfights, because I know it’s gonna happen. It’s LCD TV- Lowest Common Denominator….and it’s entertaining as hell.

Rock of Love- Bret Michaels (VH1)- Episode 1

Thursday, July 19th, 2007

Do you really think that Bret Michaels needs help getting laid? Really? Come on, there are still enough high whore hair girls who would give it up willingly to a former rock star. Especially one that wore lipstick and spandex. But this train wreck…wow. Seriously, this is some shit and I mean that in a good way. These are some carraaazzyyy bitches. He says he’s looking for some long term serious thing, but really, is he? I know he’s got 2 daughters, and is older now, but the show still portrays him as this partying rock star. I just love the dynamic between the women and their little private camera chats. They remind me of your typical bar groupies in the early 90’s. The hair, the makeup, the wardrobe…it’s as if time stood still for these women and they are still putting on their warrior outfits so they can go the Fairbanks Inn on a Friday night sleep with the singer for whatever band was playing that night. This show just can’t be long enough for me! I think this is going to be some prime watching.

The Dead Zone (USA) Season 6

Thursday, July 19th, 2007

Anyone who’s been watching this show knows that the last 2 seasons haven’t been up to snuff. They’ve been dry and a little forced. This season so far has been put back where it belongs. It’s dark, it’s dramatic, it’s human and that’s the way the first 3 seasons were. It’s nice to have you back as you belong, Johnny Smith.

This season starts with the death of Walt and a new kid playing JJ. When it starts off with a bang, you know it’s a bubbling cauldron. As the season progresses, more life changes happen, Johnny took Sarah and JJ in to await the birth of her and Walt’s baby. Talk about coming full circle. Johnny is now in the same position Walt was when JJ was born. Things are getting interesting and we are only 5 episodes in. Reverend Purdy and Greg Stillson still play a big part in the shows dynamic but the addition of the new female acting sheriff, who plainly doesn’t like Johnny is the key to the troubles ahead.

Scott Baio is 45 and Single (VH1) – Episode 1

Thursday, July 19th, 2007

Why the hell did I get giddy when this first started. Perhaps because I knew this was going to be 8 weeks of ridiculousness. I mean really…. he’s going to revisit old girlfriends? Is Pam Anderson going to come on there and say… well, you commit-o-phobe, you could have married me… but instead I got a hotter…way hotter rock star? Brilliant. I love these old stars who crawl out of the woodwork to humiliate themselves for the world to see.(Can’t wait for that Two Coreys show either…) I have hope for Scott Baio, hope that after 30 years of bangin’ hot chicks that he finally gets his act together. Perhaps someday he can actually be happy. Next week, the preview showed him having to tell his longtime friend Johnny V, that they couldn’t hang anymore. And frankly, from what I’ve seen so far, I don’t blame him.

Where oh where has Linda been?

Thursday, July 19th, 2007

Linda has been moving across the pond to the U.K. and damn does she love it.

I’m here now …and it’s ON.  I’ve been downloading so much American TV, it is just sickening.  I’ve caught up on all the shows I’ve missed (Heroes, Boston Legal, Rescue Me just to name a few) and am ready for the new season.  Too bad it doesn’t start until September!  I’ve even started watching some that are a few seasons in, that I haven’t gotten around to ever watching. (Monk, Arrested Development *R.I.P.*, 30 Rock)   I actually think I might start watching The West Wing.   Hey, why not?

There are a few new shows slated for the fall that look pretty interesting.  Ones that I’m sure to give a fair shake to.  Dirty Sexy Money and Pushing Daisies are the two that look most promising at the moment.
Are there any shows in particular that anyone would like me to add to my regular list?  I have plans to recap and force feed my opinions to you lucky readers on quite a handful right now.  🙂   Comment me your favorites and we’ll get this new season all squared away.