The Motocross episode, yeah, I did say Motocross.  Now what could be more fun than watching these bimbos attempt to ride dirt bikes? Well, a good old fashioned catfight, that’s what.   The 12 girls left are kicking into high gear, all puns intended, to win dates with Bret.  In teams of 4, the girls have a dirt bike relay race for a date with Bret.  The winning team at least wasn’t the real ho bag team so that’s the bonus.

Back at the house, the war between Lacey and Dallas has heat up to the boiling point. Lacey’s strategy is to get Dallas to hit her so she’ll get tossed out of the house.  Lacey is a real whack job.  After Dallas’ animal skin fashion show, Lacey just loses it and starts to push all Dallas’ buttons. Finally on the stairs, Lacey won’t get off of Dallas. She is planted 2 inches from her at every move.  Rodeo just comes in from behind and tosses Lacey in some weird wrestling lock move.  The best quote of the show was Rodeo’s.  “I may be a southern lady, but I manhandled that bitch.”

The dates all go rather well, as well as dates with 2 chicks at a time can go.  Rodeo warns Bret about Lacey and the incident at the house.  Sam is reserved at first but then starts talking about sex and makes Magdalena feel a little third wheel.

Dallas and Kristia don’t get backstage passes this time out so we are down to 10 lovely ladies (and I use that term wayyyy loosely).  Dallas, who is obviously pissed that she didn’t make it through, walks straight out the door without a word to Bret.  Lacey starts with the comments about Dallas having no respect and no class.   Lacey ….stirring up the shit until the last possible second, huh?

This week Scott has a chat with old castmate and platonic friend, Nicole Eggert.  Turns out there IS a blonde in Hollywood that he hasn’t tagged.  Whudda Thunk It?  She’s relaying to him how easy it has been for him to get women and since it’s been so easy, he’s had no reason to stay faithful or get serious with anyone.  Back in the day, Scott would use the Playboy mag as a catalog- according to Nicole, he and Willie Aames would pick them out and they’d show up days later.  Wow, if only I could do that…  I do have my LIST, ya know.

Doc Ali has the idea of sending Scott to a matchmaking service so that he can meet his perfect woman for him regardless of her looks.  But all with the idea that there is no such thing as a perfect woman..ahh, the old ‘Confuse ‘Em’ trick…. got it.  The matchmakers are 2 Russian women, a mother and daughter team who say that they have set up a gaggle of happy marriages and only a few divorces.  They take Scott’s ideas of the perfect woman and find him the perfect woman, which at the end of the episode he has dinner with but spends the whole time nitpicking her to death in his head.

Johnny V. the friend like a virulent case of herpes, has a bet against Scott’s celibacy.  While all his friends are betting with each other over it, Johnny is rather serious about it.  In order to ensure Scott’s failure, he hires a stripper to ‘deliver a pizza’ during their boys poker game.  For a minute there, it looked as if Johnny V. was going to win this bet because Scott took her by the hand, in midst lapdance  and took her in the back of the house and shut the door.  Johnny could taste victory but what he didn’t know is that Scott handed her $200, gathered her clothes and sent her on her way.  Scott was actually really angry that Johnny V. set him up like that.

Scott has forgone the poon trap twice in this one episode…quite impressive Scott, I must admit.  On the next show, Renee’s daughter, who is 17, comes to town and meets Scott. Doc Ali thinks it’s a great idea for him to meet with her if there is any chance of him marrying Renee.  The daughter looks to be a little spitfire and delivers the standard warning to Scott, ‘Don’t hurt my Mom’.  Nice.