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The Dead Zone (USA)

August 14th, 2007 by Linda Tate

I have seen every episode of this show but…
I do not like Stephen King – his novels or the movies based on them.
I love Anthony Michael Hall and think that the geek from Sixteen Candles is now hot.
I drug my heels kicking and screaming not to like this show.

The Dead Zone is now on Epi 9 of this, what is supposed to be the last, season.  Bruce still hasn’t made his appearance, so I’m hoping that comes soon.   It’s just not the same without him.  But, dayum, this show is getting good…getting back to the way it was and getting deeper into this mystery with Walt.  I think it’s all a set up from Janus, but… we’ll see.   It’s still juicy stuff!

Johnny and Sheriff Turner are on an even field for the moment, but I think something is going to push that over a slope soon.  Sarah and JJ are still living with Johnny and Johnny is still in love with her.  Sarah found out that Johnny had a vision the day Walt died and that he couldn’t stop it, so now she’s thinking there is no future for them.  But, he’ll change her mind…hey, AMH could change my mind!

I think that shortly they are going to have to start trying to wrap up the Stilson storyline because we are 9 in with only 4 eps left.  I’d be okay with them not really wrapping that up though, I always thought that the shows with one mystery solved worked out better.  When the Stilson story was in full swing and I was getting into it, they sort of eased off of it, and then it was only an occasion episode.   That really confused a lot of people I think, and that might have been why the ratings dropped in past seasons.

There is so much speculation out there among the die hard fans of the show as to how it will all end.    Hmmm, perhaps Walt isn’t dead at all?  And… did you notice the names of the episodes this season? Hint- first letter of each.   All this mystery, hopefully will unfold soon.

Scott Baio is 45 and Single (VH1)- Episode 5

August 13th, 2007 by Linda Tate

Doc Ali is reaching her breaking point, I do believe.  She seems to be getting a little testy with Scott when he starts moaning about how he thinks marriage is bad, and it is the woman spending money while the man is all hunched over with a belly…etc…etc.  It’s rather funny to see Scott try to walk around like that but it’s on Doc Ali’s last nerve.  She wants Scott to go and talk to his old ‘bed buddy’ Connie.  To do the standard dissection of their relationship, so Scott can feel even more like a failure – God Bless Doc Ali.

Scott takes Connie to dinner and you can tell that back in the day she was a looker.  She tells Scott that he’s sterile, passionless and callus.  I mean, what did she want? She was the man’s booty call for like 15 years!  She agreed to that kind of relationship and now she wants to tell him that he was never emotionally intimate with her?  He’s SCOTT BAIO…he’s been banging chicks for over 20 years without emotional attachment.  He’s the epitome of bachelor.  Stuff like that cracks me up.  The best is when she was describing what she thought his day was like…’you get up, get out your black book and start booking your appointments for the day.  ‘  Haha, then she told him how he would double book himself and he admitted that he would be calling one while he was on his way to one.  Total player.

Her other piece of work for Scott is a ‘cuddle party’.

Two Words
Cuddle Party.

I mean, apparently these things really exist and Scott was going to one.  He brought Steve and Johnny V with him because God forbid Baio go it alone!  Johnny V the total sponge brings condoms because he thinks that it’s a cover for an orgy.  When they arrive it’s so weird, all these strangers in their jammies who want to hug, massage and cuddle each other in a non-sexual way to overcome intimacy issues.  Hey, isn’t intimacy overrated anyway?  Because I’m totally not hugging strangers let alone spooning with them.  Anyway- Scott does it, and actually has a meaningful conversation with some chick he’s spooning with.  He doesn’t think it was so bad but I don’t see this as his new favorite Friday night activity.

The coming attractions for this coming weeks episode seem fantastic.  This is when the whole Johnny V thing blows up. Doc Ali doesn’t want Scott around him anymore and even calls their relationship toxic.  We’ll get to see Johnny V whine like a girl about losing his “Scott Baio Time”.  Can’t wait.

The Two Coreys (A&E) Episode 3- Cold Turkey

August 12th, 2007 by Linda Tate

This whole episode is about the Corey’s and their failed attempts to quit smoking.  I had thought that Feldman was a new non smoker just like his wife, but alas he’s been sneaking smokes behind both of their backs.  Haim busts him and they say that they are going to quit but just can’t seem to.  Having been there, I know that feeling but ….  The Mrs. catches them smoking and finds ways for them to quit, one being a hypnotist. They both walk out of the guys office and light up.

Her next idea is a sweat lodge with an Indian.  Brilliant. You just know that this is going to be worth the watch.  They go there, and it’s basically a blue tarp over some blankets.  They go in there with the Indian guide who honestly, looks like an Italian butcher, and they start asking for help with the smoking.  It turns into the Corey’s having an emotionfest in the steam, telling each other the crappy things they did to each other and how bad they felt.  While they are in there, verbally stroking each other, the Mrs. is out with her girlfriends getting a little tipsy and playing pool.  The Corey’s come home to an empty house and the co-dependant Feldman is getting worried because his Mrs. wouldn’t leave without a note and wouldn’t stay out this late.  (They can’t wipe their own asses without the other one, I am finding out throughout this show. )  She’s tipsy, he takes her upstairs after a few jokes about taking advantage of the drunk girl, and the Feldman’s are off.

And Haim…. goes outside and lights up.

The Two Coreys (A&E) Episode 2- Lost Boys

August 12th, 2007 by Linda Tate

Yup, you read it right- Lost Boys.  During this episode Haim is constantly saying how they need to write the sequel and do it fast while there is so much interest in the movie. I swear he must bring it up 10 times in 10 minutes.

They are having a 20th anniversary screening for the Lost Boys and of course, the Coreys will be there.  The guy that played one of the Frog Brothers was there too but that’s it.  No Kiefer Sutherland, no Alex Winters,Jami Gertz, no Jason Patrick, no Edward Hermann- nope just the singular Frog and the 2 Coreys.  Sad, huh? But of course there are a zillion people to see this thing, and participate in the 20 year celebration of a mediocre movie.  Haim is pissed because Feldman’s wife is there, and she wrote her name on the movie poster. I can’t say I blame him for that one, after all, the ho wasn’t in the movie…she wasn’t even around then so she really needed to take that step back and let her husband do his job without her.   That should have been the Corey’s moment without her gleaning the spotlight.

The biggest heartbreak of the episode was watching Haim’s pain when he found out that there was a Lost Boys 2 and they were doing it without the Coreys.  He says he’s going for a walk and you can just see the pain and desperation on his face.  I thought he was going to fall off the wagon here and get high again but turns out he didn’t.  You aren’t sure if this traumatic moment is going to kick him in to high gear to move forward positively or set him way back into the dark years.

The Mrs. gets a photo shoot in this magazine for FHM’s Sexiest Housewives.  She does look cute but the best part is that in one shot, she’s laying on a desk, and underneath her are all these different pictures of Feldman throughout the years, and there seems to be a few Haim pictures in there. Feldman notices and cracks the hell up.

There was a storybook ending to this episode though, Haim is out walking, the Feldman’s are worried about him because of his state of mind and he comes back with a gorgeous present. Says it’s a late wedding gift and a thank you for all their support.   It was a nice gesture but I can’t wait for the next outburst.  The fighting needs to commence, I hate to say it, but that’s what we are watching this for!

Scott Baio is 45 and Single (VH1)- Episode 4

August 11th, 2007 by Linda Tate

Doc Ali’s assignments for this week are for Scott to visit an ex named Sheila and talk with her about parenting, spend some time in a preschool and meet Renee’s daughter.  Can ya feel the trauma coming?

Scott finally runs into a brick wall with one of his ex’s. Sheila harbors some ill will and talks total crap to him. She makes him wait outside for her, she rolls her eyes, dismisses everything he says and you can just feel the ugly rolling off her.  She flat out tells him that he shouldn’t get married and have kids.  She doesn’t think that him having kids is a good idea.  Apparently, when they were shagging, he just showed up one day with Pamela Anderson and that’s how she knew she was a goner.  Not exactly a smooth move there, Mr. Baio.

He hits the preschool that Doc Ali sets up for him and honestly, I don’t think he does too badly there.  He isn’t horrible with the kids but you can tell he doesn’t have a lot of experience with kids of this age.  I think in time, he’d be just fine.

He takes his chumps to Costco to buy a present for Renee’s daughter. Not exactly where I would have told him to go and he ends up getting her some convection oven/microwave thing because she’s 17 and going off to college next year.  I think the kid would have preferred an IPod or something…. I mean, really…kitchen appliances? For the first meeting of a 17 year old girl of the woman you are dating?

At Renee’s place, Scott seems genuinely thrilled to be seeing Renee at all.  He tries to sneak a little nookie but, Renee isn’t playing that when her daughter is going to walk in any moment.   He takes the daughter shopping – which is a much better idea than a toaster oven thing – and while they are in a store, some teenage cassanova comes over and starts flirting.  It’s pretty funny to see Scott’s guard go up as he eyes the kid with total recognition. He knows the kid’s game since he was the master at it.  I think that little bit of protectiveness was a good thing and perhaps, God help me for saying it, Scott might be growing up.   The daughter puts him on the spot a few times with questions about infidelity, marriage and warnings not to hurt her mom.  Scott says as he drops her off, that if he married Renee it would be like having Doc Ali for a stepdaughter…and that wouldn’t be so bad.

The teaser for the next episode involves midgets, pajamas and backrubs. Oh, yeah…

The Pick-Up Artist (VH1)

August 11th, 2007 by Linda Tate

Oh, help me, I can’t stop laughing! Seriously, this 90’s bar whore thinks he’s the master? I remember in the 90’s hanging in the bars and seeing dudes like him trolling.  I mean the goggles on the head, the furry hats, the shoulder length Eddie Vedder hair, the paisley silky shirts first 3 buttons open with the obligatory crucifix. Reminds me of this guy who shall remain nameless (his initials are G.M.) in the clubs in Orlando back in the day.  The only women that are falling for this guys lines are the total club chicks–daddy issues and all.

The premise for the current VH1 beautiful disaster is that Mystery, the greatest pick-up artist, has these 8 guys, that are total nerdballs.  He’s going to teach them his secrets of seduction. Of course, he’s going to eliminate them one by one until there is one left..the one who he will give the title “Master Pick-Up Artist”.

Thanks VH1 for another useless piece of shit show that I can’t stop watching.

Rock of Love-Bret Michaels (VH1) Episode 3

August 2nd, 2007 by Linda Tate

The Motocross episode, yeah, I did say Motocross.  Now what could be more fun than watching these bimbos attempt to ride dirt bikes? Well, a good old fashioned catfight, that’s what.   The 12 girls left are kicking into high gear, all puns intended, to win dates with Bret.  In teams of 4, the girls have a dirt bike relay race for a date with Bret.  The winning team at least wasn’t the real ho bag team so that’s the bonus.

Back at the house, the war between Lacey and Dallas has heat up to the boiling point. Lacey’s strategy is to get Dallas to hit her so she’ll get tossed out of the house.  Lacey is a real whack job.  After Dallas’ animal skin fashion show, Lacey just loses it and starts to push all Dallas’ buttons. Finally on the stairs, Lacey won’t get off of Dallas. She is planted 2 inches from her at every move.  Rodeo just comes in from behind and tosses Lacey in some weird wrestling lock move.  The best quote of the show was Rodeo’s.  “I may be a southern lady, but I manhandled that bitch.”

The dates all go rather well, as well as dates with 2 chicks at a time can go.  Rodeo warns Bret about Lacey and the incident at the house.  Sam is reserved at first but then starts talking about sex and makes Magdalena feel a little third wheel.

Dallas and Kristia don’t get backstage passes this time out so we are down to 10 lovely ladies (and I use that term wayyyy loosely).  Dallas, who is obviously pissed that she didn’t make it through, walks straight out the door without a word to Bret.  Lacey starts with the comments about Dallas having no respect and no class.   Lacey ….stirring up the shit until the last possible second, huh?

Scott Baio is 45 and Single (VH1)- Episode 3

August 2nd, 2007 by Linda Tate

This week Scott has a chat with old castmate and platonic friend, Nicole Eggert.  Turns out there IS a blonde in Hollywood that he hasn’t tagged.  Whudda Thunk It?  She’s relaying to him how easy it has been for him to get women and since it’s been so easy, he’s had no reason to stay faithful or get serious with anyone.  Back in the day, Scott would use the Playboy mag as a catalog- according to Nicole, he and Willie Aames would pick them out and they’d show up days later.  Wow, if only I could do that…  I do have my LIST, ya know.

Doc Ali has the idea of sending Scott to a matchmaking service so that he can meet his perfect woman for him regardless of her looks.  But all with the idea that there is no such thing as a perfect woman..ahh, the old ‘Confuse ‘Em’ trick…. got it.  The matchmakers are 2 Russian women, a mother and daughter team who say that they have set up a gaggle of happy marriages and only a few divorces.  They take Scott’s ideas of the perfect woman and find him the perfect woman, which at the end of the episode he has dinner with but spends the whole time nitpicking her to death in his head.

Johnny V. the friend like a virulent case of herpes, has a bet against Scott’s celibacy.  While all his friends are betting with each other over it, Johnny is rather serious about it.  In order to ensure Scott’s failure, he hires a stripper to ‘deliver a pizza’ during their boys poker game.  For a minute there, it looked as if Johnny V. was going to win this bet because Scott took her by the hand, in midst lapdance  and took her in the back of the house and shut the door.  Johnny could taste victory but what he didn’t know is that Scott handed her $200, gathered her clothes and sent her on her way.  Scott was actually really angry that Johnny V. set him up like that.

Scott has forgone the poon trap twice in this one episode…quite impressive Scott, I must admit.  On the next show, Renee’s daughter, who is 17, comes to town and meets Scott. Doc Ali thinks it’s a great idea for him to meet with her if there is any chance of him marrying Renee.  The daughter looks to be a little spitfire and delivers the standard warning to Scott, ‘Don’t hurt my Mom’.  Nice.

The Two Coreys (A&E) Episode 1- Reunited

July 30th, 2007 by Linda Tate

Is this concept really a good idea to begin with? Hell yeah it is! Put two volatile former addicted child stars in a house, one a slob, one who is a little anal retentive, toss in one uppity wife, stir it up and this is just what you end up with.  It is so full of opportunities for conflict that it’s like shooting fish in a barrel.  Right from the get go, you know it’s coming.  Haim has a big chip on his shoulder and a devil may care attitude.  He’s disrespectful and you can see that he’s resentful about Feldman finding sobriety, a wife and happiness when he can’t.   Feldman has toned his lifestyle down about 100 notches, he’s worked hard to be a better person, to stabilize his life and get his career back in gear.  The Mrs, well, she’s the Mrs.  and we all know what that means.  You can see she’s a little worried that Haim is going to reel her big fish right back to those crazy years and she has good reason to worry.  Haim is obviously charismatic and seems to have a big place is Feldman’s life.

During the first epi -Haim tracks mud on the carpets, leaves ice cream on the bed, puts out cigarettes in glasses and smoked in their house. Feldman and the Mrs. have the PETA Campaign person, Nicole over for dinner to discuss some of their causes and how the Feldmans can help.  Haim is instantly flirting with her and slagging their cause and lifestyle.  He even orders a pizza which shows up while they are at the dinner table.  The look of disappointment and embarrassment on the Mrs.  face is unmistakable.  But you have to think that she knows this stuff is going to happen, she’s had him stay with them before with disastrous results.  After dinner, Haim gets Nicole out by the jacuzzi and invites himself over to dinner as is he’s doing her a favor.  Aww, too bad Haim, Nicole has a boyfriend.  The Mrs. is crying in the kitchen over that saying that Haim is cheapening the reason that Nicole is there and all the work they are trying to do.  But like all henpecked husbands, Feldman smoothes it all over once again ..until the next episode of course.

Scott Baio is 45 and Single (VH1) – Episode 2

July 29th, 2007 by Linda Tate

In this weeks charming episode, Scott hits the comedy club to apologize to yet another ex of his, Julie McCullough, the girl from Growing Pains. She’s an ex Playmate, now she’s a stand up comic, using Scott and their failed past as the meat of her act. She shames him right out of the room and then they chat it up after she’s done.  The best line EVER was uttered…Julie says to him, “I had my first AIDS test because of you.  That’s how much you cheated on me.”  Loved it, the horror on his face was priceless.

He then goes to Palm Beach with his buddies and there are some eager bachelorettes there.  What happens next is the biggest shocker ever.   Baio goes in his room and doesn’t come out.  Can you believe it? No nookie for Scott. Johnny V tries his hardest to get a little action but the party winds up as soon as the bachelorettes realize that Scott isn’t coming out to play.  You really get a glimpse of what Johnny’s life in Scott’s shadow has been like. Poor bastard.