The most recent offering of Bret and crew doesn’t disappoint in the same rubbernecking way as most of the Celebreality shows on VH1. Who doesn’t want to see these crazy women fighting over some guy they don’t even really know and chances are won’t even like!? It’s just for the chance to say they bedded Bret Michaels, which 15 years ago might have been a big deal. Frankly, he’s not doing himself a favor with this show, most of these women are just trashy and rather skanky. There are a few that I think would actually be girlfriend material but it then makes me wonder why they would be on a show like this? Faith, one who went home last night, just seemed like your average nice girl. Well, if your average girl has a degree in Chemistry. No spandex, no whore hair, no implants, just a nice girl. When she was walking out she did say for the cameras that she was too good for Bret and yeah…I think so too.

They have separated themselves into two camps, the self proclaimed “A-Team” and “Varsity Squad” and those are the most trashy, most stripper-like, party girls. Making out with each other, drinking in the morning, clothes that a stripper would envy (and not an exotic dancer mind you, just a stripper) and the class of a trailer park resident. Heather is the ‘captain’ of the squad and frequently winds everyone up and works the stripper pole.(because every rock star house has one, right?) Lacey, with her fake dyed burgundy hair and her lip ring, is just the meanest in the house. Quite often you can hear her say how she’s going to get these bitches out one by one so she can have her man with a psychotic grin on her face. And the Barbie Twins, Brandi and Kristia, who have the combined IQ of 100 and those fake squeaky voices that men fall for and women cringe at. These women speak of Bret as the prize, as their man…. perhaps they deserve him.

The other group, are the more intelligent and less catty of the bunch. Jes, is young, she’s a cosmetologist and refuses to pander for Bret or the cameras. Magdelena, the 6′3″ Pole who was once in the Navy. Erin, the honors college grad with very big, very fake Jordan Price boobs. While Erin looks like she should be in the A-Team, she’s much too smart for that. Dallas, the princess of the bunch, is totally on a mission to ruin Lacey’s day. She taunts her about wearing animals and eating meat much to Lacey, the PETA members chagrin. Lacey seriously wants to take Dallas out, and it’s hysterical to watch. It’s plain to see that Dallas is LOVIN’ the reactions. She told Lacey, ‘If there was an animal in here, I’d slit it’s throat’ . Whether or not she means it…it’s brilliant TV to see the steam coming from Lacey’s ears while Dallas sits there calmly and sweetly smiles.

The nights little task was phone sex, yeah…that’s right. They hooked some machine up to Bret’s ….member… to measure blood flow. Is there really such a thing? Then each girl had to talk to him on the phone while he was in another room, some of them where just down right nasty and some were very reserved and could have been talking to their mothers. The 3 who instigated the most flow, got to go on a date with Bret. The date was to a recording studio to add vocals (or moaning as the case might be) to one of his tracks. Lacey, who is a musician, was over the moon about it and I’m sure that’s her only reason for being there. Rodeo, the formerly paralyzed personal trainer- who is more manly than Bret, thought she deserved a Grammy for her performance and Erin, who was very upfront in her lack of musical talent, just moaned and talked dirty.

These are some hardcore bitches, and it’s fun to watch. There is no real value of this show, but who cares!? I’m just waiting for the drunken bitch catfights, because I know it’s gonna happen. It’s LCD TV- Lowest Common Denominator….and it’s entertaining as hell.

Do you really think that Bret Michaels needs help getting laid? Really? Come on, there are still enough high whore hair girls who would give it up willingly to a former rock star. Especially one that wore lipstick and spandex. But this train wreck…wow. Seriously, this is some shit and I mean that in a good way. These are some carraaazzyyy bitches. He says he’s looking for some long term serious thing, but really, is he? I know he’s got 2 daughters, and is older now, but the show still portrays him as this partying rock star. I just love the dynamic between the women and their little private camera chats. They remind me of your typical bar groupies in the early 90’s. The hair, the makeup, the wardrobe…it’s as if time stood still for these women and they are still putting on their warrior outfits so they can go the Fairbanks Inn on a Friday night sleep with the singer for whatever band was playing that night. This show just can’t be long enough for me! I think this is going to be some prime watching.

Anyone who’s been watching this show knows that the last 2 seasons haven’t been up to snuff. They’ve been dry and a little forced. This season so far has been put back where it belongs. It’s dark, it’s dramatic, it’s human and that’s the way the first 3 seasons were. It’s nice to have you back as you belong, Johnny Smith.

This season starts with the death of Walt and a new kid playing JJ. When it starts off with a bang, you know it’s a bubbling cauldron. As the season progresses, more life changes happen, Johnny took Sarah and JJ in to await the birth of her and Walt’s baby. Talk about coming full circle. Johnny is now in the same position Walt was when JJ was born. Things are getting interesting and we are only 5 episodes in. Reverend Purdy and Greg Stillson still play a big part in the shows dynamic but the addition of the new female acting sheriff, who plainly doesn’t like Johnny is the key to the troubles ahead.

Why the hell did I get giddy when this first started. Perhaps because I knew this was going to be 8 weeks of ridiculousness. I mean really…. he’s going to revisit old girlfriends? Is Pam Anderson going to come on there and say… well, you commit-o-phobe, you could have married me… but instead I got a hotter…way hotter rock star? Brilliant. I love these old stars who crawl out of the woodwork to humiliate themselves for the world to see.(Can’t wait for that Two Coreys show either…) I have hope for Scott Baio, hope that after 30 years of bangin’ hot chicks that he finally gets his act together. Perhaps someday he can actually be happy. Next week, the preview showed him having to tell his longtime friend Johnny V, that they couldn’t hang anymore. And frankly, from what I’ve seen so far, I don’t blame him.

Linda has been moving across the pond to the U.K. and damn does she love it.

I’m here now …and it’s ON.  I’ve been downloading so much American TV, it is just sickening.  I’ve caught up on all the shows I’ve missed (Heroes, Boston Legal, Rescue Me just to name a few) and am ready for the new season.  Too bad it doesn’t start until September!  I’ve even started watching some that are a few seasons in, that I haven’t gotten around to ever watching. (Monk, Arrested Development *R.I.P.*, 30 Rock)   I actually think I might start watching The West Wing.   Hey, why not?

There are a few new shows slated for the fall that look pretty interesting.  Ones that I’m sure to give a fair shake to.  Dirty Sexy Money and Pushing Daisies are the two that look most promising at the moment.
Are there any shows in particular that anyone would like me to add to my regular list?  I have plans to recap and force feed my opinions to you lucky readers on quite a handful right now.    Comment me your favorites and we’ll get this new season all squared away.

The teams start out this final episode of AR Season 10 in Barcelona, and have to find their first clue in back on the church, Sagrada Familia- the clue then leads them to the Eiffel Tower. Once there, they all have to hop a train to the Caen Airport, where they find the next clue.

Roadblock- Skydiving to Omaha Beach, then to the Bayeux Train Station. Their partner gets a nosedive and then off to the train station to meet up. Kim, Tyler and Karlyn do the skydiving and then haul ass to the train station. They all head back to the Paris and look for the next clue at the Place de la Concorde.

The Detour this time is Art or Fashion, of course because they are in Paris right? In Art -they must pick up a painting at a gallery and then walk it through the streets to an artist who will hand them their next clue. In Fashion- they will go to the Anatomy Fashion Studio and cut, pin and fit a jacket on a mannequin. The designer there will give them the next clue when she approves their work. They all pick Fashion, so the poor artist goes home lonely. In fitting with their professions, the Addicts fit the jacket first and get the clue, taking them all to NY. Rob and Kim get on the first flight leaving De Gaulle at 8:25am. The Addicts get on that flight by the skin of their teeth but the Bamas don’t make it.

Once in NYC, the Addicts who have been to NY often, are in a taxi race to lose Rob and Kim. The Addicts cabbie has an EZ Pass, so he flies through the toll and R & K’s cab has to wait in the cash line. Finally, the Addicts give them the slip. They make it to the Daily News Building to the globe to get their next clue. From the globe, they have to make their way on foot to the “Alamo” which is a sculpture in the East Village. Once there, they find the woman in the yellow cap, who hands them yet another clue. This is shaping up to be a boring finale. No flag matching, no mental work, no nothing!

The Addicts make it to the sculpture first then off to the finish line. The finish line this year is St. Basil Academy in Putnam County, about 60 miles outside NYC. The cab ride there is hectic for both the Addicts and R & K. It’s neck and neck the entire time. As the first cab pulls in the drive, they show all the other teams waiting there for the remaining teams. The door opens and the first team to arrive gets out and runs through the grass to meet and greet Phil …and for Phil to tell them that they won the million dollars.

The winners of Amazing Race, Season 10 is-

Tyler Denk and James Branaman- Our lovable model slash drug addicts. They then get a phone from Phil with their parents on the line. When Tyler tells his Mom he and James won, it was very touching I must admit. They finally feel that they’ve become worthy. Hell, that cool million will buy a lot of photoshoots and crack. You go, Boys! Congrats!

Then come Rob and Kim ran across the lawns and still looked pretty pleased but of course, still disappointed. And last but certainly not least, the Bamas - Lyn and Karlyn. The first all female team to make it to the final 3, so hats off to you Ladies.

This is the end of our little weekly Amazing Race time together…until Season 11… which is supposed to be an All Star Edition. I’ll be keeping you all posted. Until then… Ciao!

In this leg of the race, the B Queens have to save themselves by making it to the pitstop first or incur the 30 minute penalty.

The teams make their way to Casablanca via the road to Marrakesh- 275 miles. The roads are crawling with goats, twist and turns and very few guardrails. The make their way to the Courtier de Habus, Tyler and James make it first. The B Queens get their second, somehow! Rob and Kimberly make it third and the Bamas last.

The first roadblock is to eat 1 pound of camel meat that they have to prepare according to a Morroccan recipe. Of course, Tyler is chowing like there is no tomorrow he finishes first and they are on their way to Barcelona. If they don’t get lost, of course.

Rob and Kimberly are walking all over hells creation and can’t find anything. He’s walking around all huffy saying..”Dude, I don’t know where it is .” and “I can’t find it , Dude”. Lyn and Karlyn are walking around with them equally as confused. Finally he stumbles upon the clue box. And of course, Kim has to do the eating. Lyn is doing the eating, and Karlyn is sitting there just talking trash to her the entire time! If I was Lyn, I’d punch her in the face. Kim finally chokes down the last piece and they get the clue, they are last. But, I still that they are going to outdo the B Queens. That 30 minute penalty is going to bite them, I really think.

At the airport, the B Queens are totally trying to get shiesty with the Addicts. “Oh wouldn’t you rather have USSSSS in the top 3 than Rob and Kimberly???” Umm, no heifers. Again, they are all on the same flight to Barcelona, so all this racing stuff is pretty useless at the first half of the leg. Once in Barcelona, they get taxis to Parc de Laberint d’Horta - a gorgeous garden maze- where they have to find their first clue. They make it and of course, it’s closed so they wait around until 10am. The blondes whore their way to getting a taxi by flirting with the construction workers that are outside the gates. They tell them to tell the taxi driver to only take the 2 blondes. Shiesty McShiester. Totally. So, Rob tells Kim to go and do it, and ‘use her sexuality’ to get them a cab! She’s nice and gets 2, one for them and one for the Addicts. Finally the maze gates open and they all flood in. The Addicts make it to the clue box first and it’s the first Detour. 2nd are Rob and Kim, 3rd are the B Queens and last to the clue box are the Bamas. Hopefully that won’t last long.

Lug it or Lob it. In Lug It, the teams take taxis then travel by foot to the Maremagnum Bridge where they put on costumes, that are 9.5 feet tall in honor of the Festival of the Giants. They have to walk about a mile through the streets to find one particular giant at Carrer de Sant Felip Neri to get their next clue. In Lob It, teams go by taxi 9 miles to a town square where they will take part in a tomato throwing task in honor of the Tomatina Festival. They have to defend themselves while they hunt for one that contains their next clue.

The Bamas and the Addicts can’t catch a taxi outside the maze so they are running up the street chasing them down. So much for Kimberly calling for 2 cabs! They finally get cabs and head over the the Detours. The B Queens and the Addicts do the Giants, but the Bamas and Rob and Kim do the tomatoes. As they start pitching tomatoes, Kim starts getting pissed and wow is she fun to watch while she’s mad. She’s getting beaned in the face by tomatoes and Rob is pissed. He’s all ” you just blew it…you just threw in the towel because you got hit with a couple tomatoes” Haha, let HIM get slammed in the face and see then how he likes it! Way to be supportive, Rob! Finally he calms her to go back and finish and they find the clue in what looks like minutes. Which makes them first so far. They have to travel by taxi to the next pitstop. I haven’t even seen the Bamas make it to the tomatoes yet!

The B Queens are still wandering around in giant suits sweating while they look for the female giant. When the Bamas get to the tomatoes they too are getting pelted. The Addicts finally make it to the giants and they catch up with the B Queens so quickly. The Bamas make it to the clue pretty fast and they apologize to each other and it’s all cute, warm and fuzzy. They are 2nd so far, the B Queens 3rd and the Addicts last. With these teams being so close, it’s likely that the B Queens will have that 30 minute wait.

The pitstop for this leg of the race is Palau Nacional de Mont Juic, which is now holds the National Art for Catalona. After Rob and Kim glide in, it’s a foot race between the other 3 teams. They are all sprinting and it’s hysterical!

At the pitstop-

1st- Rob and Kim, much to their shock! There is some tears and hugging between those two. Rob is so happy, that he’s gushing. He wants to marry her, and start a family with that million. Damn it, now I like that jerk!

2nd- Lyn and Karlyn- High five. And they are the first all female team to make it to the final 3. I bet their kids are thrilled at that one!

3rd- The Addicts. Thank goodness….so that means the B Queens are toasted! WOOHOO!

The Blonde Beauty Queens are heading their skanky asses home! I love their goodbye clip..all the tears… boohoo, hell, they all hated them because they were just bitches the whole time!

The next episode-the final leg of the race is going to be a nail biter the whole time. The previews that they showed look great! Sky diving, running, taxi chasing and plane problems….all recipes for someone’s disaster. I’ll be there watching as anxious as these teams and I’ll keep ya posted. ‘Til next week…

Teams have to leave Kiev and travel over 3000 miles to Quarazazate, Morocco. This is going to be one amazing show tonight. First thing they have to drive to an antique store, Antiquities Du Sud and choose one of the good luck charms. One of them will bring ‘good fortune’ at the pitstop.

The Blondes get a flight from Kiev to Milan to Casablanca but then do not make their connection so they have to find another flight. The rest of the teams get on the same flight from Kiev to Paris to Casablanca. But all are on the same flight from Casablanca to Quarazazate. I hate it when they do that. How much of a race is it really when you all get on the same flight!

They are all on the way to Quarazazate at the same time. But Lyn and Karlyn got a map in Paris and found their way to the Casbah area and made it to Antiquities Du Sud first.

Once they all get their good luck pieces they have to go to Atlas Studios, an old movie studio in the desert. Cleopatra and Gladiator were filmed on this backlot. The Yield is located here also, so I think this is where the Bamas take out all their frustrations. The best part is when the Bamas passed the other 3 teams, after getting their charm and they where on the way to the studios. The mob scene in the previews for the show was a waste! There was no danger there, it was just a gaggle of people walking around and one of them got in the car with the B Queens to show them where the antiques store is. They make it last to the store for their necklace and now they are sweating knowing that the Bamas are going to yield their asses! But when they make it to the studios, they don’t open until 8am, so they all catch up. I HATE that!

At 8am, at the studio gates, they open the door and they all bolt in like their asses are on fire. And I suppose, in a sense they are. The Addicts and Rob and Kim yield no one, but the B Queen yielded the Bamas. Damn …why couldn’t those Bamas run faster!

The Roadblock this time is Race Chariots. One has to get in the buggy and be pulled around like a chariot race. They have to pull down 2 flags the same color as the plume on their horse. They then get the next clue. Dustin and Rob get both flags and James is still working on the second. But the yield isn’t even over. The Bamas hit that race running, got the flags fast and then got on the road.

Once they are all done, they have to drive to the town on Idelssan where have to find the Cafe La Pirgola to get their next clue. Rob and Kimberly got a flat, more with the bad car karma.

The next clue is a Detour “Throw It” or “Grind It”. In Throw It, the teams will have to go to a pottery shop and make 2 pots. Once the artisian approves their pots, they get the next clue. This is going to be a hard one, throwing clay is NOT easy. In Grind It, they grind 77 pounds of olives and fill a pressing sleeves to get their next clue. The Addicts, The Bamas and The B Queens all do grind it. Rob and Kimberly are still back with a flat tire. But miraculously, they get there, the B Queens pass the place and end up the last time there. Since there are only 3 stations to grind olives, they are outta luck. They yielded Bama and they still beat them there.

They now drive to the pitstop in a Berber camp in the middle of the desert. On the road to Marrakesh The only way they get there, is by seeing a boulder! Surprisingly no one got lost and they all made it to the pitstop without too much trouble but lots of nailbiting goodness.

The teams fall in as follows:

1. The Addicts
2. The Bamas
3. Rob and Kimberly

and Last- The B Queens. But their asses are safe, it was a non-elimination week! Darn it.

Next week, the previews look pretty tasty. The Bamas have to eat something gross and Kim get pelted with apples. Love it. See ya then.

At the continuation of this race the teams must now go to Kiev the site of Chernobyl.

With The Addicts in first place, they are pissed that they suddenly are going to be with the rest of the pack since the flight to Kiev starts them all over again. So much for the big lead they worked for.

They get to the airport, The Addicts and the B Queens get on a flight via Vienna and everyone else got on a flight via Warsaw but all arrive at 1:35 so, again, they are all on the same page.

The Warsaw flight gets delayed so the Addicts and B Queens get a slight lead. They have to head to the Oster Tank School so that they can drive some tanks! It’s a road block also, so one of them has to do the challenge and get the clue at the end of the course. Of course on the way there, the Cho’s can’t seem to handle it and get lost. The Bama’s are with them, so they lose ground also.

James and Dustin are neck and neck when James stalls out the tank yet again. The other teams haven’t even made it to the school. Rob and Kimberly are yet again at each other’s throats.

Finally they all complete the tank task and head off for the next clue. The Addicts and B Queens are far ahead of the other teams, Rob and Kim in the middle and the Chos and Bamas last. Someone HAS to get car trouble because I swear it’s the law. Rob and Kimberly get the short end of the stick this week. But somehow manage to stay in 3rd place. The Bamas and Chos are last but now they take off and leave the Chos on their own.

They have to head to the city of Kiev and find an apartment to get the next clue from some babushka lady. No big story there other than the lady is scary lookin.

The Detour is “Make Music or Find Music” They have to either go to the Dance and Groove Studio Bar and be rappers in a karaoke bar and sing about each of their countries or the National Music Academy and dress like conductors and find a piece of music, then find the pianist to play it. The B Queens chose the rappin’ karaoke and holy smokes they are stupid. The Chos and Addicts find the music and the rest to the make the music. The Chos however get the big boot because they drive on a closed street and have to show all their papers to the cops. It’s nightfall before they make it to see Phil and they get their walking papers.

The Great Patriotic War Memorial is the pitstop for this race.

1. The Addicts
2. The B Queens
3. Rob and Kimberly
4. The Bamas

Eliminated - The Chos - Finally, it’s true- the nice guys DO finish last.

Next week there is a Yield in Morrocco. I have to say, I think the B Queens are going to get a Bama Smackdown.

The first thing in this episode that kills me, is the B Queens saying “Finland? Isn’t that where they have wooden shoes?” Holy brain surgeons, Batman! If this whole hour is like this, we have a winner on our hands.

The flight arrangements are a little bizarre this time around. They all get tickets provided but they can finagle something else at the airport. Ummm, okay? Whatever. They get to the airport and all decide to follow the B Queens who’ve managed to get a flight to Johannesburg, to Frankfurt, to Ethopia then on to Helsinki. Talk about direct route..haha.

The Bama’s are pissed that the B Queens are cute..saying that they have a disadvantage because of their looks…haha, dur.

They land in Helsinki and have to race for a cafe where they will read an email for a clue. In their emails they all had messages from their families who told them they must get their next clue from the owner of the cafe Kapelli, where they are. Everyone is quite pleased to hear and see their families but the Bama’s, they are bawling because they miss their kids. In that clue they are told that they must travel over 125 miles by train and taxi to the school named, Soppeenhardjun Koulu. Wow, at least Phil can say it. They had to search the grounds of the school to find their next clue. They all scrounge cabs to make it to the school but the Chos, who are too polite, end up losing out on a cab and make it dead last to the school. And the Cho Quote of the night.. “Being polite sucks sometimes”…Hence the name of the episode.

At the school, they all get the detour. Swamp This- Where they strap on Cross Country skis and have to ’ski’ over a one mile course of mud. Or Swamp That - Where they have to go through an obstacle course in the mud, they have to jump, crawl and carry each other. The B Queens and Bama’s take the skiing and everyone else takes the obstacle course. It’s quite brilliant to see them all covered in mud.

They then head to Turku by train 140 miles, then they drive themselves 70 miles to Lohja. Once there, they go into a limestone mine to get their next clue. The Addicts and the B Queens get on the first train to Turku and the other teams get on later trains. The Addicts gets to the mine first, B Queens second. They have to travel in the mine to get to the roadblock, which is them, on a bike, going one mile underground to a marked stand. They have to retrieve a chunk of limestone, bring it back up, then use special tools to break it up and get the clue inside. Once they do, they head to the Olympic Stadium in Helsinki for the pitstop.

The Addicts and B Queens make it out of the mine first, and are on their way to the stadium. But the Addicts are wandering around inside the stadium and they walked right by the door they should have gone into and it had a flag on it. I love it. They finally get in there and find another box where they have to make it up to the top of the tower and rappel down, face first.

Then we find out….it’s a continuation show! ARGH! So, this leg of the race isn’t over……

So, until next week…..